about-bg about-bg


Mixtape: Ephesians 3:14-21

• Sandra Unger

Sandra discusses some of the difficulties and obstacles to getting our life from the fullness of Christ.

Show Extended Summary Hide Extended Summary

Recently Sandra went through a series of ups and downs in her life that we can all relate with, such as getting ill, feeling old, and family stresses. But in between these downs she experienced a number of “ups” which we can also relate with – getting a compliment about her youthful appearance, social media affirmations, etc.

What these ups and downs showed her is that she was falling into the same trap we all get tempted by: getting her identity from the world and events around her – instead of in Christ. We look into many mirrors, such as how young we look, people liking us, losing weight, etc. There are mirrors like this all around us, and it’s almost irresistible to look into them.

In Ephesians 3:14-21, Paul prays that the believers may be “rooted and established in love” and “filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” He says that this is all possible and accessible to all of us through the Holy Spirit which resides in our “inner being.”

The question, then, is why do we all find it so difficult to remember this? Why do we all get sucked into looking to external measures for our sense of worth and “okayness?”

The answer is in one of the mirrors that we look into: it’s the mirror of shame. Shame is distinct from guilt, in that guilt is about something we have done, but shame is about who we are. Shame the force that drives us to compulsively look into external mirrors for validation. It is powerful and exhausting, and detrimental to all of the growth we are trying to do. And more importantly, it reduces our ability to respond to the needs of those around us, because we are so busy and distracted by thinking about ourselves. So we try our best to hide it from others, never talking about it, and it deepens our isolation from others.

The antidote to this trap is to be rooted in Christ, as Paul wishes for us in Ephesians. A good way to think of this is like a very tall pine tree: it’s flexible and yielding to the forces around it, so that it does not snap when the wind blows. But it is rooted firmly in the ground, so it never falls from these external forces. This is how we should try to be. Allow ourselves to be influenced by the world; it’s appropriate to do so. But while we flex, be rooted solidly in the love of Christ, so that we always stay upright and grounded in God’s love.

It is a lifelong practice to change these thought patterns. But some tips for accomplishing this:

1) If you find that you can’t put down mirror of shame, then you need to get help in letting it go. It’s isolating you from God and preventing you from further growth.

2) Think about your rootedness and flexibility. Which one is stronger in you? Which can you develop more?

3) Think about what mirrors you are looking into for identity. There are voices that go along with each. If the words of that voice are judgmental then it’s likely a “shame” mirror. Choose another mirror, or better yet, no mirror at all, and look to God instead.

4) Most importantly, walk with others who are asking same questions. This helps both of you to reduce the isolation and to reinforce better habits and thoughts.

Hide Extended Summary

Topics: Forgiveness, Healing, Identity in Christ

Sermon Series: Mixtape

Downloads & Resources

Audio File
Study guide

Focus Scripture:

  • Ephesians 3:14-21

    14 For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, 15 from whom every family in heaven and on earth takes its name. 16 I pray that, according to the riches of his glory, he may grant that you may be strengthened in your inner being with power through his Spirit, 17 and that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith, as you are being rooted and grounded in love. 18 I pray that you may have the power to comprehend, with all the saints, what is the breadth and length and height and depth, 19 and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, so that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

    20 Now to him who by the power at work within us is able to accomplish abundantly far more than all we can ask or imagine, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

Subscribe to Podcast

3 thoughts on “Mixtape: Ephesians 3:14-21

  1. Lori H says:

    Great, great, great sermon!! Thank you!

  2. Carol says:

    Thank you, Sandra. I’ve been needing this for awhile. It seems that it was posted just in time for me to pull up out of my own feelings of guilt and despair. (And yes, nearing another milestone birthday.) Blessings.

  3. Robert Woerter says:

    Thank you. The enemy is always trying to condemn us for our faults and sins. Thank God that He loves us in spite of our faults and sins. Instead of a mirror I have a picture of Jesus that I look at when I’m feeling like a failure.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *





"For so many years, I have been blessed by your music ministry. It takes me to a place that evokes so many emotions and feelings: gratefulness; honor; love; joy; hope; peace; strength. My heart feels connected to the heart of God over and over again as we worship together."

– WH Attender