In this sermon, Sandra Unger explores the practice of forgiveness and explains how it empowers us to live out the call to love others. We learn what forgiveness is and what it is not, while also being challenged to love others in ways that counter the primary ways of our culture. 
This sermon, delivered by Sandra Unger, is the third in our series on spiritual disciplines. It addresses the need for spiritual practices that shape how we relate to one another. Sandra focuses on the practice of forgiveness and helps us to see how this one practice can transform the love we show others.
Sandra begins by defining forgiveness as letting go of a wrong done, whether or not the wrongdoer actually recognizes that they have committed that wrong or asked for forgiveness. It is an active choice to release the wrongdoer, even if the harmful act is egregious. Forgiveness releases the power that the wrongdoer has over the one wronged. At the same time, we also must name what forgiveness is not. Forgiveness does not mean claiming that the harmful action was not actually wrong. Nor is it the same as reconciliation; forgiveness does not mean automatically returning to the kind of relationship that existed before the wrong.
Sandra then explores three stories about forgiveness. The first was that of Jesus with his disciples. In Matthew 26:20 and following, we read about Jesus telling the disciples that one of them would betray him. The story progresses with Jesus telling Peter that he will deny him three times, while Peter declares that this will never occur. Then we read about how Peter, James and John fell asleep as Jesus was pouring out his heart in agony. Those closest to Jesus were betraying him, denying him and falling asleep. Yet Jesus forgives them.
In the second story, Sandra shares about her brother Jerry. Jerry is suffering from a chronic illness that is causing him to be immobile. She told us about a recent encounter and how they had a vulnerable, open conversation. Sandra then asked why it takes a tragic situation for us to open up like this. She offers two reasons. First, we are afraid of intimacy and therefore we avoid conversations that will venture into a vulnerable zone. Second, such conversations remind us that life is fragile which stirs up fear about life.
The third story is about an encounter Sandra had as a substitute teacher with a student named Eli. Eli is on the autistic spectrum, and he primarily focuses on taking apart and rebuilding a toaster during most of the day at school. At the end of the day, he could not complete the rebuilding process and had to leave it in pieces. This caused him great stress. Sandra uses this as an analogy to show us how we need to have the same kind of concern about our relationships.
Sandra closes by offering three things to remember as we are seeking to practice forgiveness. First, remember that Jesus is near to you on this forgiveness journey. Second, practice saying “Thank you. Please forgive me. I love you.” Third, feel a helpful urgency around making your relationships healthy.
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